Showing posts with label Bridezilla. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bridezilla. Show all posts
Monday, 27 August 2012
Dream a little dream
This morning I woke up out of a dream about the wedding. It was very strong and got me thinking about other dreams of similar intensity and obvious subject matter. By the time I had gone through this thought process I had forgotten the dream, it had slipped back into my subconscious - the elusive little critter! No doubt it will pop back into my mind later this afternoon and confound me.
Late last week I had a great wedding dream: I was in a game show in which contestants had to dive underwater in an eight metre pool and retrieve items from a series of post-box-like compartments. I watched the contestant before me win the key to the Special Box through a luck-of-the-draw process and then he dived down, found the box that fitted the key he had been given and discovered a huge wad of cash. The Special Box was supposed to be for things that would be most prized by the contestant.
When it was my turn, first round I won the key to a box that contained some things I intuitively knew were relevant, but that I now don't remember. Second round I, too, won the key to the Special Box. Down I went, down, down, right to the bottom. I found the box and opened it with the key. The first thing I saw was a huge manuscript, like a modern publishing manuscript, not a monk's parchment. I pulled that out and put it on the tray I had for carrying my stash, thinking, "Maybe the thing of value is in the words of the manuscript..." Then looking back in all I could see were everyday items - little tubes of hair products, jars of gourmet foods and spice pastes. I was pulling them out, going through them all trying to find the thing in the box that was of the most value since I obviously couldn't get all this crap back up to the surface in the one trip I was allowed. I was also becoming conscious of having been underwater for a while and that my breath was beginning to run out. I burrowed deeper under the valueless products, which were by now tumbling everywhere, and on the bottom of the box I found an engagement ring and a wedding ring in simple white gold with a small solitaire stone. I was momentarily confused because they weren't my wedding ring and engagement ring and my first thought was just for their monetary value, but, der Freddy, it was a dream, of course they were symbolic. So, by now out of breath and beginning to panic a little in the dream, I loaded the rings onto the tray with the manuscript (and maybe a cheeky jar or two of truffle paste, you can take the girl out of the kitchen, but... ) and headed to the surface, taking great care not to drop the rings back down into the depths of the pool. I woke up just before I broke the surface. Nice lesson, non?
My Nana died three years ago. She was such a fun and beautiful lady and huge source of inspiration for me. One night I dreamt I visited my grandparents' former family home, the site of many happy childhood memories. My Popa had died a few years previously, but he had been a fanatical gardener like so many of the rest of the family, and always had a beautiful garden. I got to the gate in the dream and saw that all the garden was brown, withered and dead and I was confused and a little upset. I woke up, it was very early morning, and ten minutes later my Mum rang me to tell me that Nana had died in her sleep overnight.
So, dreams, eh!? Sometimes prophetic, sometimes hugely symbolic and sometimes just a clearing house for the day's activities (I am hardly about to write romantically about the stressed out dreams I had about the Resale Royalty Scheme for Artists and ensuring equitable payments for artists under an agency sales method last week. They were just pure processing). Whatever. They are never boring and a really good one will stay with you all day and make the world feel a little different as you move through it.
Friday, 20 July 2012
Save the dates = Save your ass
Sometimes DIY should be rephrased DIYH, as in Do In Your Head. Amirite?
Last weekend, already a little panicked at the lateness of it all, I settled in to begin what I believed would be the final assault on my mountain of wedding invitations. All I had to do was print the black text on the inside and whack 'em through the sewing machine, right? Pfft!
Was it because it was the first day of Mercury retrograde? Was it Murphy's Law? Was I over-confident and needed to be taken down a peg or two? Whatever the reason, my beloved printer refused to cooperate. In fact it just plain wouldn't even turn on. Look at that, it's just turned two years old. Look at me, cocking a suspicious eyebrow in the direction of planned obsolescence again (you cheeky minx, you!) A quick Google revealed no new Canon printer available on the market took the type of ink I had just spent $124 on. Sigh! So I dashed into work and printed the text off there, only to realise too late that I had used a custom font that was not installed on my work computer. Cue a brief Bridezilla moment since I'd just 'ruined' all 50 of my coloured invite templates. Whose stoopid idea was it to hand make the stoopid wedding invitations anyway!? *kick dirt*
But today, thanks to some mid-week after work stealth printing raids on the office printer (using my own stash of aforementioned ink, I might add), the appropriation of a guillotine and a public holiday Friday, I'm back on track. Just as well, because the six week mark was clearly the week when the out of towners figured that if they hadn't heard from me again they were uninvited, I have fielded a few queries and allayed some fears.
The moral dear DIY(H) brides? No, it's not start the invites earlier! Don't be ridiculous! (cough! this may not be sound advice, cough!) You are a real person and you are far too busy! No, it is communicate and don't stress too much. Save the date notifications just saved my ass. Imagine if I was relying on the invites to be people's first indication there was a wedding on! And while I would be lying if I said I wasn't anxious about finishing the invites this week, I'm pretty sure I didn't let it get the better of me. There were no teary scenes at least. And really, with only three months to pull this thing off I think we are doing pretty well on the lack-of-drama front.
And so, with Exhibits A, B, C & D before you, I hope to even get some of these babies in the Saturday post tomorrow after a bit of hand finishing. Next up: the decorations. What could possibly go wrong?
Wednesday, 20 June 2012
Bridezilla lurks in the heart of every woman
So. One of the big upcoming changes in my life is that I
will be getting married soon. Like, in two and a half months soon. I’ve never
been a girl to sit around and day dream about “the day I get married”. In fact,
when I was little I used to proudly tell my mum that I was “never getting
married and never having kids!” But this guy ... this guy is special, this guy
is different, and I can’t wait to be married to him.
We have been waiting quite a while for circumstances to be
right, so we’ve had plenty of time to work on the big picture – dress, rings,
venue, vibe, caterer, etc., etc. – but not the specifics, such as, well, date! Once
we had the green light we went through the process of making sure that key
people were available on our preferred date (including the groom, who inconveniently
lives in Montréal) and are now working out the logistics of it all before we
send out the invitations. (Before the etiquettists out there tsk, tsk, the save
the dates are out with the interstaters and all the locals know verbally.)
And this is where it gets surprising: I have felt the
stirring of my inner Bridezilla already and I am shocked at myself.
She first reared her ugly head while my dad was here looking
after me and we were discussing how many layers of family I was prepared to
drill down into on the guest list. Freak out number one was about blowing out
the budget when I have to relocate internationally next year and we have a
second, Canadian, celebration to throw when Charles’s family is a tightly-knit
cast of thousands. Freak out number two was that I really want to have a fairly
intimate ceremony, preferably around 65 people max, and the guest list is
currently sitting at 94 without cousins. 94?! Do I really know that many
people? I guess I, or we, do. My dad gave me a stern father-daughter talk at
the time, which I wasn’t in the mood for, but, yes, he was right. He told me to
get my priorities in order. My stepmother reinforced this with the sage words, “One
thing you will remember about the day is the people and how they wanted to be
there for you.” Shucks.
The next Bridezilla moment was Not. My. Fault. Now there’s a
dead giveaway statement if ever I read one. Right from the get-go, pretty much one
week into our engagement, we knew where we wanted to get married. We had even
had a date booked and a deposit paid for last year, but things didn’t pan out
that way. Of course, we were back onto them in a flash when we knew we were
good to go, confirmed a suitable date, yada, yada, and then they sent through
their new contract. This venue is a seaside venue: ceremony on the beach then a
stroll over the grass to the sweetly set tables for a long, leisurely,
family-style lunch in the dappled shade of the trees – aaaaah! Except ... they
no longer allow glass of any sort whatsoever. Whoa, Nellie! Not only have I
been painstakingly collecting vintage glasses by the scores for the table
settings (cough, Bridezilla alert, cough!), but actually I don’t feel like
paying around about $6,000 for catering and venue hire and then drinking my
celebratory wedding bubbles out of acrylic champagne flutes. I refuse to
consider that this is anything less than reasonable (cough...)
But, ya know what? It all worked out for the best. A chance
call to one of my workmates to get a phone number while I was on leave led to a
chat about what I’d been up to, led to discussing the venue debacle and then
led to her suggesting a venue that turned out to be perfect. It’s super cute,
closer to town for post-revelry taxi fares, is wet weather-proof (essential in
the tropics), has a kitchen onsite when the other venue didn’t, and it is $150
for the venue hire for the entire weekend. $150!! I feel like I am cheating
them. The venue is a community hall, so when we’re done I will make a donation
of equipment or something similar that I think they might need.
In the meantime I just found the budget for another 10 or so
guests, so now I just have to get used to the idea of that many people watching
me as I go through what will be one of the most emotional moments of my life. It’s
been such a long wait I have been joking that my wedding vows are going to be, “I
say yes, now where do I sign?” But then again, maybe I’m not actually joking.
Coming up: Will the bridesmaid be wearing animal print? Will
the bride be able to track down the long-lost old friend she wants to have as
wedding celebrant? And will the bride ever get to have a meeting with her
beloved caterers, and does this in fact even matter since she trusts them
enough to just hand over cash and say, “Knock yerselves out”? Stay tuned.
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